13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success
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- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2022-09-21 06:57:29
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Amy Morin
- ISBN：0062358308
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Summary
The Ultimate Guide to Mastering Your Mental Strength
Everyone knows that regular exercise and weight training lead to physical strength。 But how do we strengthen ourselves mentally for the truly tough times？ And what should we do when we face these challenges？ Or as psychotherapist Amy Morin asks， what should we avoid when we encounter adversity？ Through her years counseling others and her own experiences navigating personal loss， Morin realized it is often the habits we cannot break that are holding us back from true success and happiness。 Indulging in self-pity， agonizing over things beyond our control， obsessing over past events， resenting the achievements of others， or expecting immediate positive results holds us back。 This list of things mentally strong people don't do resonated so much with readers that when it was picked up by Forbes。com it received ten million views。
Now， for the first time， Morin expands upon the thirteen things from her viral post and shares her tried-and-true practices for increasing mental strength。 Morin writes with searing honesty， incorporating anecdotes from her work as a college psychology instructor and psychotherapist as well as personal stories about how she bolstered her own mental strength when tragedy threatened to consume her。
Increasing your mental strength can change your entire attitude。 It takes practice and hard work， but with Morin's specific tips， exercises， and troubleshooting advice， it is possible to not only fortify your mental muscle but also drastically improve the quality of your life。
Everyone knows that regular exercise and weight training lead to physical strength。 But how do we strengthen ourselves mentally for the truly tough times？ And what should we do when we face these challenges？ Or as psychotherapist Amy Morin asks， what should we avoid when we encounter adversity？ Through her years counseling others and her own experiences navigating personal loss， Morin realized it is often the habits we cannot break that are holding us back from true success and happiness。 Indulging in self-pity， agonizing over things beyond our control， obsessing over past events， resenting the achievements of others， or expecting immediate positive results holds us back。 This list of things mentally strong people don't do resonated so much with readers that when it was picked up by Forbes。com it received ten million views。
Now， for the first time， Morin expands upon the thirteen things from her viral post and shares her tried-and-true practices for increasing mental strength。 Morin writes with searing honesty， incorporating anecdotes from her work as a college psychology instructor and psychotherapist as well as personal stories about how she bolstered her own mental strength when tragedy threatened to consume her。
Increasing your mental strength can change your entire attitude。 It takes practice and hard work， but with Morin's specific tips， exercises， and troubleshooting advice， it is possible to not only fortify your mental muscle but also drastically improve the quality of your life。
Reviews
Sanda
，
Loved the way the writer designed the chapters， because it felt organised and thoughtful。 But some things didn’t made sense to me at all and I couldn’t relate。
Jamie Marquis
，
Grateful for the simplicity and directness of the writing while still leaving the principles open-ended enough for me to see how they apply in my own life。 I found that even though not all of the things she shared applied to me I am looking forward to using her exercises to improve my own mental strength。 Would recommend。
Sarah
，
A wonderful and inspiring book。Thank you Amy。
Angela johnson
，
Great bookI learned a lot about myself and why I usually shy away from things that can help me be great
Ahmed
，
Thanks for releasing such a book that helped my a lot as person who used to pity himself without realizing it。
Shiva
，
There are some interesting scenarios brought up in the book; however， the author could have done a better job in narrating the stories。 The combination of all what to do and what not to dos turned the book into an elaborate instructive cookbook。 One that you may not necessarily look back on for recipes。
Phoenix Fawkes
，
i‘m glad i read this。 whenever i am in a selfpity phase， i‘ll probably skip through those chapters again。 i also wish i could send people this book who are in their selfpity phase （and love to be stuck in it）。 i admire her courage to keep living， after the hardships she had。 it makes sense that this knowledge helped her get out of a dark place- i am certain it‘ll help everyone out of their dark place but the hard part is living after the advice she mentions。 it is easy advice， simple and obvious i‘m glad i read this。 whenever i am in a selfpity phase， i‘ll probably skip through those chapters again。 i also wish i could send people this book who are in their selfpity phase （and love to be stuck in it）。 i admire her courage to keep living， after the hardships she had。 it makes sense that this knowledge helped her get out of a dark place- i am certain it‘ll help everyone out of their dark place but the hard part is living after the advice she mentions。 it is easy advice， simple and obvious advice but she gives information about it， which wasn‘t obvious before and deepens the theory。 it encourages even more to act after her advice。 if you are in a dark place and bath in selfpity， i can recommend this book。 if you aren‘t， you‘ll probably be unsatisfied with it。 。。。more
Imogen
，
Really enjoyed this book。 Surprising knowledge immersed within these pages。 Made me realise how many traits I possess that I would like to switch around。 Awareness of this was great。 Loved the layout of the chapters giving summaries at the end and easily digestible advice throughout。
Lisa Koivu
，
Even though it was toward the end of the book， it’s hard to take seriously an anecdote about “Rudy” （Notre Dame football Rudy） and how his one game is an example of delayed gratification - and we should strive toward delayed gratification。 Yikes。 I zoned out through most of the book as I was listening to the audiobook。
Kiki
，
“Bad habits are like heavy weights that you drag around as you go about your day。 They’ll slow you down， tire you out， and frustrate you。 Despite your hard work and talent， you’ll struggle to reach your full potential when you’ve got certain thoughts， behaviors， and feelings holding you back。”13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do is a strong and straight-up informative book about nurturing one’s self to become mentally strong。Each of the “13 Things” was elaborated with numerous situation “Bad habits are like heavy weights that you drag around as you go about your day。 They’ll slow you down， tire you out， and frustrate you。 Despite your hard work and talent， you’ll struggle to reach your full potential when you’ve got certain thoughts， behaviors， and feelings holding you back。”13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do is a strong and straight-up informative book about nurturing one’s self to become mentally strong。Each of the “13 Things” was elaborated with numerous situations that most of us can easily relate to， discussions that justifies one’s behavior for each set， and some pointers on what should not be done in order to cultivate mental strength。 I think that the downside with the book is that there could be conflicts between the words of the author and the reader’s biased perspective， and so it needs to be read with an open mind。 I generally liked the book; and although it was a bit long and took me days to finish， I didn’t have any conflicts with Amy Morin’s writing， knowing that it could challenge my own thinking and everything I knew my whole life。 It offered views to a great extent， especially in terms of staying strong and taking back one’s power。 。。。more
Dustin
，
Good book just others of its type I found better。 This lady is a good author and really lived what she taught according to her story
Maria Pavăl
，
I was pleasantly surprised by this book。 I received it as a gift and avoided reading it for a while as the title made me think of it as just another one of those basic self-help guides。 However， Amy Morin has a different （and quite useful， I should say） approach to gaining mental strength。 She points out that it is not enough to do certain things， acquire new， healthy habits as long as you're still practicing some of the old， sabotaging ones。 She compares it with losing weight。 It's not enough t I was pleasantly surprised by this book。 I received it as a gift and avoided reading it for a while as the title made me think of it as just another one of those basic self-help guides。 However， Amy Morin has a different （and quite useful， I should say） approach to gaining mental strength。 She points out that it is not enough to do certain things， acquire new， healthy habits as long as you're still practicing some of the old， sabotaging ones。 She compares it with losing weight。 It's not enough to start exercising if you keep on eating junk food - developing new， healthy habits is useful， but how many times have we neglected the behaviours that don't do us any good？ 。。。more
Yashaswi N
，
Okay short review : Though the book made sense it also kind of put me in slump to reading non fictions。 13 reasons are all valid and had to be adapted but the elaborated way made it quite difficult for me grasp and finish faster。 It took months actually to complete。 Regardless book is good one time read， keep notes and adapt。 Book has bulletins at the end of each chapters which tells what to do and not to which is more than enough info， get there directly if you don't want to listen to all the u Okay short review : Though the book made sense it also kind of put me in slump to reading non fictions。 13 reasons are all valid and had to be adapted but the elaborated way made it quite difficult for me grasp and finish faster。 It took months actually to complete。 Regardless book is good one time read， keep notes and adapt。 Book has bulletins at the end of each chapters which tells what to do and not to which is more than enough info， get there directly if you don't want to listen to all the unnecessary stories。 3* / 5 。。。more
Jonah R。
，
Takeaways- Do not be afraid to step out of your comfort zone。 Learning starts from there。- Be happy with other people's success。 - Say NO to Self-pity。 - Be mentally strong。 Do not be afraid to make mistakes but do not do the same mistake twice or thrice。 Take it as a learning opportunity to do better。 Takeaways- Do not be afraid to step out of your comfort zone。 Learning starts from there。- Be happy with other people's success。 - Say NO to Self-pity。 - Be mentally strong。 Do not be afraid to make mistakes but do not do the same mistake twice or thrice。 Take it as a learning opportunity to do better。 。。。more
Mukund
，
The book felt like a pill you can take to better your life because of its succinct and clear ideas。Key things you shouldn't do1。 Feeling sorry for yourself2。 Fixating on things you cannot control3。 Try to please everyone4。 Hide from change5。 Fixate on the past6。 Not to take calculated risks7。 Resent other's success8。 Give up after first attempt9。 Fear alone time10。 Feel the world owes you something11。 Expect immediate results The book felt like a pill you can take to better your life because of its succinct and clear ideas。Key things you shouldn't do1。 Feeling sorry for yourself2。 Fixating on things you cannot control3。 Try to please everyone4。 Hide from change5。 Fixate on the past6。 Not to take calculated risks7。 Resent other's success8。 Give up after first attempt9。 Fear alone time10。 Feel the world owes you something11。 Expect immediate results 。。。more
Amy
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Not great。 I skimmed through parts
Jessica
，
First of all， I really did enjoy this book and it has some good advice for those who take it lightly。 Many of these things have a lot of truth to them， but I find that they are at times oversimplified and don't always consider the opposite side of the coin。 Everything in life and within one's mental health is a balance， so in thinking critically about these things， I'd like to share my thoughts （even if no one reads them）。 The chapter reviews I feel are particularly important are #2 and #11:t1。 First of all， I really did enjoy this book and it has some good advice for those who take it lightly。 Many of these things have a lot of truth to them， but I find that they are at times oversimplified and don't always consider the opposite side of the coin。 Everything in life and within one's mental health is a balance， so in thinking critically about these things， I'd like to share my thoughts （even if no one reads them）。 The chapter reviews I feel are particularly important are #2 and #11:t1。 They Don't Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves:tOn the other hand， people that are mentally strong recognize when they are affected by their circumstances and don't take responsibility or feel guilty for things they could not have changed。 They empower themselves to move past and rise above times when they were victimized。 Ex。 If they were bullied growing up， they recognize the unfairness and cruelty they experienced， and they don't blame themselves and learn to overcome feelings of inferiority。 They accept that it happened， that it affected them， and give themselves the compassion and kindness they need。 Further this is absolutely terrible advice for anyone who experienced trauma。t2。 They Don't Give Away Their Power:tSpreading the idea that we can completely control our own emotions is a shame to the field of psychology as it's just not true。 We cannot fully control how someone or some event makes us feel。 Biology as well as our environment affect our emotions。 Tragedies make people sad， across the board。 Everyone feels hurt when someone important to them criticizes or insults them， that is normal and healthy --if they don't feel even slightly hurt， they have a trait associated with narcissism。 But people who are mentally strong accept their feelings and circumstances， they work to move past them instead of replaying/ruminating or exacerbating their emotions， and they don't let those feelings result in unhealthy reactions。 Ex。 A mother always criticizes her daughter， and the daughter accepts her emotions and doesn't deny that those criticisms are hurtful; because she still values her mother and wants to maintain a relationship， she calmly sets boundaries with her mother instead of engaging with her negative criticisms。 Further， having close relationships with others and trusting them means giving some of our power away; otherwise we would be closed off and never let anyone in， in order to protect our feelings。 The daughter is still giving some of her power away， as she chooses to allow her critical mother into her life。 She also can still be mentally strong while stating "my mother makes me feel hurt。" Overall， we can influence how much power others have over us， and put up walls and boundaries with those who would cause us emotional mayhem or try to control our every move。 tt4。 They Don't Waste Energy on Things They Can't Control:tOn the opposite end， when big or tragic things happen that are out of their control， like a death or ending of a relationship， they allow themselves to grieve。 If their car breaks down， they feel the emotions that come with that struggle， but they accept their situation and find the best way to move forward。 They realize these things are out of their control （most of the time） and life isn't always fair。 But it isn't a "waste" of energy to feel negative emotions in response to unfair life circumstances。 It's actually unhealthy to deny that those things affect us。 Even someone who is mentally strong can complain about the traffic that morning -- they just don't let it ruin their day。tt8。 They Don't Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over:tAlso， they don't get stuck blaming themselves or being overly self-critical about a cycle that they can't seem to get out of。 They have compassion for themselves when they make the same mistakes as before。 They still try to learn from their mistakes and make better decisions， but they have self-compassion when they unintentionally continue the same cycle。 For example， everyone has bad habits that they continue to struggle with。 Someone who doesn't listen very well might experience a lot of consequences continuously throughout their lives from that。 Although it's the same mistake they've always made， they aren't overly self-critical about their shortcomings， and while they continuously try to be a better listener， they are able to accept and perhaps even laugh at themselves when it doesn't happen。 This is even more true for someone who experiences mental illness， as there are so many cycles that are not easily disrupted。t9。 They Don't Resent Other People's Success:tI agree -- resentment is a strong， hateful feeling。 It is great to look up to other people who have achieved more success。 But to expand， feeling a little jealousy helps us strive to do better， it increases your motivation to achieve。 On the flip side， looking at others who've achieved less in life helps us feel proud of ourselves and satisfied。 It's important to compare ourselves to our own growth， but in truth， we can't help but to participate in some social comparison; we are human， we are social animals， and social comparison is actually the basis for forming our identity。 The problem becomes when we are focusing too much on our own failures and shortcomings， comparing ourselves constantly to those who are more successful， and idolizing them as if they don't also have the same life problems as everyone else。 The message of this chapter rings some truth， but at the core of envy of others' success is a motivational drive to succeed， so again， it's a balance。tt11。 They Don't Fear Alone Time:tThe opposite of this is one area I feel the book really didn't consider。 Our world is becoming more and more lonely， and I think it's vital that we foster time for connections， as that is such a struggle these days。 People who are mentally strong don't confine themselves to being alone and they welcome and seek out companionship and social relationships。 They aren't afraid of loudness， excitement， and entertainment。 No one is happy completely alone， and humans as social beings need safe and consistent relationships。 This chapter advises becoming comfortable with silence， your own company， and not to be dependent on others for companionship or entertainment。 Although this is important， a red flag comes up for me， because people who are socially isolated are often all of those things， and the opposite advice to spend time with people is much more important。 Many people who are socially isolated already feel comfortable with themselves and alone time and also feel incredibly lonely。 Chronic loneliness is one of the worst things for our health， and can knock a decade off the end of our life。 So I feel it's much more important to touch on the other side of that coin。t12。 They Don't Feel the World Owes them Anything:tAlthough you should not be entitled， you should expect some things from the world and people around you。 People who are "mentally strong" don't feel as though they deserve nothing。 They trust others to help them when in need。 They accept help and care， and they expect others to follow through with their word， their obligations， and their promises。 They feel they deserve love and closeness。 They value themselves and their worth。t13。 They Don't Expect Immediate Results:tPersistence is super important。 But I would expand on this and say some immediate results are a sign you are doing something right。 Because most things in life involve gradual improvement， not a magic turn of events two years down the line。 For example， in a dating situation， you should expect some attraction and connection when you first start to date。 If you don't get those immediate results， it's likely not a good idea to continue。 You should immediately feel somewhat better after starting to improve your exercise， diet， or sleep。 Your new business should be giving you profits， and not driving you deeper and deeper into debt every month。 When results just aren't coming after a ton of work， people get burnt out， and it's just not worth continuing。 It is better to focus on other goals at that point， and they can let something go。 。。。more
Dorothy
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Everyone will get something out of this book。
M
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This book gave me a lot to think about。 I like the list of 13 things。 Each section contained great information。 Sometimes I'd start a chapter thinking that there was nothing in it for me， that I didn't really have that problem （and for the most part I was right）; however， there was always something useful for me to learn。 I liked her examples and stories。 This book gave me a lot to think about。 I like the list of 13 things。 Each section contained great information。 Sometimes I'd start a chapter thinking that there was nothing in it for me， that I didn't really have that problem （and for the most part I was right）; however， there was always something useful for me to learn。 I liked her examples and stories。 。。。more
Carlijn Van Der Hart
，
Fijn boek
Giselle Odessa
，
كتاب صوتي。تقوم مورين بذكر ١٣ عادة سيئة تؤثر سلباً على حياة الأشخاص من خلال تجربتها الشخصية وتجارب مرضاها، وتقترح كيفية التخلص من تلك العادات واستبدالها بأخرى جيدة。
Jerom
，
Great book for everyone to read。 I think that everyone can relate to the most chapters & get something out of it。One of the best books to improve your mental health。
Candy Khine
，
Love reading this。
Meighan O'Toole
，
DNF
Nathan Kaseng Um
，
This book will challenge you。 It will do so by giving steps you can take but also giving you the space to decide how to apply it into your life。
Colleen
，
A few nuggets of worthwhile advice amid platitudinal mumbo-jumbo。 Maybe it was just that the narrator/author’s voice annoyed me。
Colette
，
solid read about what we all need to relearnI appreciate this book for a number of reasons - 1） emphasis on storytelling 2） personal annotations by author and 3） the helpful hints at the end of each chapter 。
Abi Salvia
，
Estoy de acuerdo con muchos de los consejos， pero me parece que es un libro demasiado repetitivo y podía decirse lo mismo 50 páginas。 Por otro lado， me parece que la autora es demasiado crítica y mantiene una positividad que no dudo que le sirvió， pero que es algo tóxica。 No siempre hay que tener el control de nuestras vidas y podemos permitirnos desastres y sentirnos mal。 A veces la vida es una mierda y no está mal no siempre tener la mente positiva intentando ver todo el tiempo mariposas3y cor Estoy de acuerdo con muchos de los consejos， pero me parece que es un libro demasiado repetitivo y podía decirse lo mismo 50 páginas。 Por otro lado， me parece que la autora es demasiado crítica y mantiene una positividad que no dudo que le sirvió， pero que es algo tóxica。 No siempre hay que tener el control de nuestras vidas y podemos permitirnos desastres y sentirnos mal。 A veces la vida es una mierda y no está mal no siempre tener la mente positiva intentando ver todo el tiempo mariposas3y corazones de colores donde no los hay。 。。。more
Sandy
，
Un libro muy ligero y directo para trabajar en uno mismo。
Drinda
，